Monday, September 17, 2018

Eggs, Milk, Bread

Years ago I was doing a little shopping in Milbank. I remember seeing this magnetic notepad at a local store. I almost bought it, but decided I really didn’t need it. The funny thing is, I still vividly remember the notepad. It had a clever little saying on it, “GROCERIES: This is the list you’ll leave at home when you go to the grocery store.”

I remember it so well, I’m sure, because I have done that exact thing so many times I can’t even begin to count them all. I’ve also done the, “I’ll just pop in for a gallon of milk,” and exit the store with a cartful of groceries, but, alas, no milk. 

Of course, how long it takes to actually realize you’ve forgotten to get the one item you actually needed depends on a few factors: How close one lives to the grocery store, what the weather is like, and how close it is to closing time. My home is about eight miles from Milbank. This means that if I go to the store and buy everything but the gallon of milk I need, I will not realize it until I am home. Then I will be too tired and discouraged to make the trip back into town. If it’s raining cats and dogs, I might actually remember it as soon as I’ve gotten into my car, I’ll have to truck back through the downpour in order to get it. I would never conveniently remember it before I actually exit the store. And of course, if it’s nearly closing time, I would probably remember that I need to buy milk about a minute after the store closes. 

I believe they call this Murphy’s Law. I should have majored in it. 

I’ve also been known to go into the store needing just three items. Those items become a mantra of sorts. “Eggs, Milk, Bread.” I repeat those three words over and over and over, non-stop, my whole way to the store, while I am going into the store, and while I am shopping. Except that once I am in the store, I get distracted by all the other things that I “need.” And then I think, “No, no, no! Focus on the three items you need! Eggs, Milk, Bread. Eggs, Milk, Bread, EggsMilkBread.”

So I continue along, reciting the mantra in my head and smiling politely at people I know but not wanting to stop and talk, because I know then I’ll forget the three items. I pick up the eggs. Whew. One down, only two to go. “MilkBreadMilkBreadMilkBread.” I get the milk. Ok, I’ve got this. And so I relax. Big mistake. Huge. Ginormous. Milk……oh shoot. What was the third item? EggsMilk…… Sometimes I get lucky and remember. Often I don’t. 

Now I know what you’re thinking. Just write it down! Take the list with you! Right. When I actually do remember to remember the list, I will set it on a shelf by some product I’m looking at and, well, grocery stores are fairly large, even in Milbank, and often as not I am unable to find the list.

One time I thought I’d beat the odds and jot the three items on my hand. Brilliant! Except that this was such an unlikely place for my list that I spent the entire time in the store frustrated because I couldn’t find my list. It wasn’t until I was in the car, driving home, that I noticed the writing on my hand. Ah, there it is. 


Fortunately the advent of smartphones has helped me tremendously. I have a grocery list in my phone and as long as I remember to put the items I need on the list, I do remarkably well. Take that, Murphy!

4 comments:

  1. You just perfectly described my life in this post! LOL Last week it was chilly, so I put my list in my jacket pocket and headed off to the store. Of course I got too warm on the way, so I took the jacket off and tossed it into the back seat of the car! Once I got into the store I immediately remembered where I put that list. DUH! My friend had a funny solution to this issue recently. She decided to make tacos for dinner, so she hopped into the car and headed to the local grocery store. As soon as she came out of the store and began loading her groceries into the car, she realized she'd forgotten to pick up the items needed for tacos - like the taco shells, sauce, hamburger, etc. She was too embarrassed to go back into the store, so she headed up the road to Taco Bell, and went through the drive-in window to pick up tacos for dinner! LOL She uses a smartphone and forgets to program her list into it. This online grocery shopping/home delivery is beginning to sound rather enticing to me :)

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    1. Too funny! Thank goodness for Taco Bell! Thanks for sharing! Made me laugh out loud, for real, this morning!

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  2. You are not the only one to forget the list. And, I don't use a smart phone so I would not be having a source for a list like that. And, I probably would forget the phone. LOL I have been known to do that even with my flip phone. I do make lists on paper for my hubby when he shops as he would not remember everything. Usually I have the list in my head besides on paper and most of the time I remember everything, but if I don't there is this nagging feeling I have that something I needed is not being recalled. And I usually end up with more then what was on the list to begin with as I see a bargain or something I know I will be running short of soon. LOL

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  3. Oh Verna! What would we do if we didn't forget SOMETHING, eh? I heard the other day about a lady who went to the store and bought some milk and then forgot it in her car - for a WEEK - in the summer heat. It exploded! What a mess!

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